10 Coping mechanisms to reduce Mental Load (that actually work)
Are you constantly carrying a hundred little things in your head (appointments, reminders, school events, groceries, plans) and still feel like you’re missing something? That’s mental load. When your brain is never off-duty, it’s no wonder you’re exhausted. But here’s the good news: there are real, practical things you can start doing today to lighten that weight.
In a previous post, we unpacked what Mental Load is, how it sneaks into your life, and why it leaves you feeling so exhausted. If you missed it, go back and read it here because understanding it is key. But if you’re already familiar, let’s move on to the next question: how do we cope with it?
Mental Load is a real struggle for many people, especially women, who are often the default caregivers and household managers. The weight doesn’t come from one single thing, but from the constant accumulation of tasks, decisions, reminders, and responsibilities. It builds across different layers of life and rarely has a clear stopping point.
That’s why the solutions need to be layered too. There’s no one-size-fits-all or magic fix. Mental load won’t disappear entirely; it's an inevitable part of life when we have things to care for and people who rely on us. But the good news is, there are ways to make it lighter.
In this post, I’m sharing 10 practical coping mechanisms that can help you reduce the overwhelm, protect your mental bandwidth, and feel more in control, one small shift at a time.
Doing stuff techniques:
Let’s reduce execution overload
1 ▶️ Create a Weekly task map
Daily to-do lists can be a great tool, but it’s also really helpful to have a broader overview of the week. Try building a weekly task map: a visual layout of what’s happening across your whole week. This helps you anticipate the flow of your days, spot moments of overload, and — just as important, notice the blank spaces.
Those blank spaces are not “unproductive gaps”, they are key to success. These blocks of unassigned time have two jobs: they’re your cushion for the unexpected (because life will throw curveballs, we know that), but more importantly, they’re also where rest can happen (your chance to breathe, reset, or even just do nothing — guilt-free).
You can create your weekly map in many ways: sketch it out on paper, use a planner, or drag things around on a digital calendar. Start by entering your fixed appointments and commitments, then fit your time for flexible tasks around them realistically. Don’t forget to block time (or at least consider) for things we often overlook — like prep time before meetings, travel time between places, or simply a wind-down window at the end of a long day. This small shift in perspective gives you a sense of control and helps prevent the overwhelm that sneaks up when everything feels last-minute.
2 ▶️ Use Micro-Tasks to Kill Resistance
Break things down more than you think you need to. For example: “Prepare for birthday” becomes: block date, confirm guest list, send invitations, find decorations and candles, buy food and cake, get gift.
Our brains naturally resist complex or vague tasks because they require more energy to plan and execute. When a task feels too big or unclear, it becomes harder to start and easier to avoid, and adds more weight to the Mental Load. But when tasks are short and simple, your brain is more likely to say, “Okay, I can do that” and manage it using less of your mental bandwidth.
Also, each small completion gives you a little dopamine boost. You know, that feel-good hit that fuels motivation for the next step. It’s like building a staircase with manageable steps instead of trying to leap a whole flight.
Bonus? When you break things down, it’s also easier to delegate. If you have a partner or kids, they’re more likely to jump in if the task is clear and specific. Instead of saying “handle the party,” you could say “can you wrap the gift?” or “check if we have enough plates.” Clear tasks are easier to explain and easier to say yes to, so it helps if we need support executing a task under our responsibility.
Planning stuff techniques:
Delegate the Project Manager role
3 ▶️ Stop being the default Planner
If you’re always the one figuring out how and when things happen, it’s time to rethink how the planning load is shared. In family settings, have an honest conversation about handing off a specific area: maybe your partner takes on meal planning (complete transfer of responsibility), or alternates weeks organizing weekend activities (split responsibility). You can also do it together (shared responsibility): it might seem less efficient, but the shared involvement and sense of support are well worth the time.
And for those without a partner or kids? You don’t have to carry it all either. If planning a vacation stresses you out, use a travel agency, book a trip package, or follow a trusted travel blogger’s itinerary. “AI” can also be a great planning helper; with the right prompts, it can generate menu options, structure plans, create travel itineraries and save tons of mental energy. The key is not to do everything yourself, but to be strategic about what you do and how you do it.
4 ▶️ Co-Create repeatable Routines
Routines are your secret weapon to reduce planning fatigue. But here’s the key: they need to be co-created, not dictated. When a routine involves others (like morning routines, school prep, cleaning, or packing for extracurriculars or vacations), don’t take on the planning and commanding role. Instead, sit down together and define it as a team: list all the tasks involved, agree on what “done” looks like, assign responsibilities, and even set calendar reminders or visible trackers if needed. When everyone helps build the system, they’re more likely to follow it — and you’re no longer the mental manager.
This applies whether you live with a partner, kids, roommates, you name it! You can alternate responsibilities (you do one week, I do the next), co-manage areas together, or divide by task. Even if doing it together feels slower at first, the shared ownership brings connection and empathy, and relieves your solo load.
And for those without a family to coordinate with, don’t skip routines: they give structure, reduce decision fatigue, and free up space in your brain. Whether it’s a morning checklist, a weekly grocery flow, or a suitcase checklist for trips, building a repeatable system is an act of self-support.
Remembering stuff techniques:
Let things out of your Brain
5 ▶️ Use a Command Center
Anything that needs to be remembered (events, due dates, appointments, reminders) belongs in a central place you can trust and see. This could be a digital calendar, app, whiteboard, or notebook, but it has to be visible and used consistently. Leverage recurring events and reminders on digital calendars if that's your thing, to make it all even easier and avoid anything falling through the cracks. It also helps you plan your days and weeks without holding all the information in your head.
If you live with others, this should be a shared command center. Whether you’re part of a couple or a family, encourage everyone to use it. When someone asks something that’s already there, gently redirect: “It’s on the calendar, please check there. I know we’re all still getting used to it, but it helps so much if we all start looking there first.”
And this is important: it’s not just about checking the calendar. Everyone (except maybe younger kids) should start adding their own events and plans too. If something affects them, like a practice, a trip, a deadline, etc., they need to include it and make sure it’s aligned with everyone else. Try to not become the secretary of your household.
6 ▶️ The 5-Minute Sunday Download
At least once a week, or even daily before bed if your brain spins at night (that’s how I do it!) take a moment to unload everything that’s circling in your mind: reminders, to-dos, worries, ideas, errands. It’s not about creating a perfect plan, just about releasing what’s occupying space in your brain. Use a notebook, a notes app, or your task tracker, or even have your calendar or command center by your side so you can directly schedule reminders or block time to handle whatever needs attention.
This simple habit gives your brain permission to rest. It helps you sleep better because your mind knows that nothing will be forgotten: it’s already taken care of or listed to be.
If you share a household, it’s a great idea to do a quick weekly review together. Sit down to talk about anything that concerns your family or shared responsibilities, assign tasks, and log them in the command center. It prevents missed steps, promotes clarity, and reinforces shared ownership instead of having one person carry the whole load silently.
Deciding stuff techniques:
Beat Decision Fatigue
7 ▶️ Simplify Choice Structures
Decision fatigue is real! The more decisions we make in a day, the more drained our brain becomes. This is especially true for complex choices with many variables. When we're faced with too many options, even simple decisions can feel paralyzing, adding unnecessary weight to our mental load.
To avoid this, create default structures and rules that limit decision-making. These aren’t restrictions, believe me, for certain topics they’re relief.
Every time you remove a micro-decision, you preserve precious mental energy to use in the decisions you actually want to spend time making. And to make it even better: completing a task without the pressure of choosing gives your brain a small dopamine hit, which fuels motivation and creates momentum, again.
Here are some examples of simplifying everyday choices:
“Tuesday is pasta night” ➡️ meal decisions are easier when the category is set.
“We pick movies from one platform or pre-approved list” ➡️ fewer options mean faster, happier choices.
Set a go-to outfit formula ➡️ like “jeans + blouse + cardigan” for weekdays.
Batch similar errands ➡️ like only grocery shopping on Wednesdays.
Use a weekly rotation for chores or kid responsibilities ➡️ so there’s no rethinking who does what every time.
The simpler the structure, the lighter the load, and the easier it becomes to keep going.
8 ▶️ Have a Menu and back-up Meals list
Avoid the daily stress of “what’s for dinner?” by preparing one or two weekly menus in advance that you can alternate (or more, depending on your need for variety). These pre-made menus remove the need for constant decisions and help with meal planning and grocery shopping.
But life happens, and sometimes you’ll need a back-up. That’s where your back-up meals list comes in: a short list of 3 to 5 go-to meals you always have ingredients for. These should be simple and quick meals, using mostly non-perishable, frozen, or dry foods, so they’re always available when plans change or time is tight.
Some examples might include:
Pasta with tomato sauce and canned tuna
Frozen veggie stir-fry with rice
Canned lentil soup with toast
Omelette with frozen spinach and cheese
Canned green beans, peas and potatoes with canned mackerel
With these tools in place, you can feed your people (or yourself!) without extra thinking — and keep your mental load in check.
Worrying about stuff techniques:
Calm the Invisible Load
9 ▶️ Label the Worry
When something’s circling your brain, name it. Our minds are constantly processing things in the background, and worries tend to spin silently there, draining energy and making your mental load feel even heavier. That low-level rumble steals bandwidth from everything else you're trying to manage.
Naming the worry — like saying “I’m worried we’ll miss the school registration deadline” — gives it form. Writing it down or saying it out loud makes it concrete. And once it has form, you can do something about it. It becomes a clear problem to tackle — so take action, or if it’s not urgent, add it to your calendar or task tracker to deal with it when the time is right.
10 ▶️ Borrow a Brain
Sometimes a good strategy is to talk it out and/or vent for longer than just mentioning it. Talk to your partner to share your worry, call a friend, or even voice-memo yourself. Saying things out loud and letting yourself express it all releases part of the worry and helps you sort signal from noise. And once it’s out of your head, it’s not rumbling and growing in the background: you can look at it, name it, and decide what to do with it.
And here’s a little tip that can save you unnecessary frustration (or even an argument): if you’re venting to someone and don’t want feedback or solutions, just say so upfront. Something like, “I just need to vent please, listen to me but don't fix it right now” sets the tone and keeps the other person from jumping into problem-solving mode. It’s a small boundary, but it makes a big difference.
Today’s takeaway
Mental load doesn’t disappear, because we have responsibilities and lives to run, but you can make it lighter with intentional and strategical systems.
With the right coping mechanisms, you start freeing up space, energy, and time. And that means a more present, less resentful, more empowered you.
Take action! ⏩ The trick is not to just know these tricks, it’s to try them. Start by picking one from the list and try it. Once it's settled, pick another one. And keep building from there. I promise, the lightness is real.
💙 I’d love to hear from you! If you want to share which coping mechanism you're trying first, or if you have questions or reflections about this post, feel free to email me at coach@martafores.com.
And if you want more tools to reduce chaos and mental load, come hang out with me on Instagram @martafores_coach. Also, subscribe below ⤵️ to get my latest posts, free templates, and practical tips to make life feel lighter.
